Explanation of Why I am in Israel

I have been struggling with Jewish identity, namely how to manifest Judaism in my daily life. Like most devotees of a faith, if you pose the question, “What does it mean to be a ______?” you will get many different answers. So when I pose that question to myself, my answers seem incomplete.

Here is what I believe:

I believe in God.
I believe that the Torah is a divinely inspired document used to teach, organize, and guide the Jewish faith.
I believe that my faith in God and the practicing or manifestation of that faith will lead to closer relationship with God.
I believe that a success family is rooted in a common value system and a shared experience.

Here is what I like:

I like that my faith ties me to my family and my greater Jewish community.
I like the emphasis on learning, community, charity, and social justice.
I like the rich heritage and traditions.
I like that it provide a framework for understanding and living within the world.
I like that my faith has produced many great scholars, scientists, leaders, thinkers, athletes, artists, writers, musicians, and most importantly, comedians.
I like viewing the world from the Jewish perspective
I like the fact that I can turn to the texts for answers, guidance, and support.
I like when my “Jewish” jokes are comprehended and appreciated.

Here is what I don’t like:

I do not like the restrictions.
I do not like gefilte fish.
I do not the feelings that I need to know more to be a “better” Jew.
I do not the idea of being bounded or confined to conventions.
I do not like the weight of the Jewish faith of my shoulders.
I do not like the expectations and demands.
I do not like the constant correlation between Jews and the Holocaust.

For the list, it is apparent that I am hypocritical and contradictory. Furthermore, I have been confused and reluctant to seek out the answers. So, here I am … seeking, learning, and questioning. I am taking action and I hope I will be able to better articulate my understanding of my faith and my intent to enact that understanding.